Praying for time

Don't mind me saying that about cracking his skull open and shove the idea of us together into his brain. I know it does not work that way. Again, I'm mad and disappointed right now. I do believe that there are things meant to be, and for those that aren't, there is a very good reason. One of the purposes of human kind is trying to understand that, and be ok with it!.
In top of everything, I had this HUGE fight over email with one of my dearest and oldest friends because of a comment I posted on Facebook after the US "caught" Bin Laden. Don't want to go into details but I was so appalled with the reaction of people that I could not resist making a comment. Him being on the USForce and already served time in Irak and Afganistan looking for Bin Laden, felt insulted and disappointent. I had visited him a few weeks back and there he also told me he was disappointed and expected more from me on that trip. I ended up feeling kind of bad and heartbroken, what exactly was he expecting for me? It has been 20 years since the last time we hang out together, I grew up a completely different person from the 17 year old he used to know. Who knows. Like my Blog friend said: you cannot please everyone. You need to be happy with you.
I went out with my friend Monica last night and we had a great and revealing conversation. She said that if it wasn't for her, we would not go out at all cause I never call her. And that is the way she is, she will rub it on my face everytime she feels like it cause that's the way she is, does not mean she loves me less or that she's mad at me. It's a statement on how she does feel. And she was absolutely right. I told her I was sorry and I will do my best to keep in touch so we can see each other more often. But that also who I am, I don't call people, doesn't mean I don't love my friends, it's just that I'm not a caller. It is what it is you know? I may have a temper, big mouth, weird person but people accept me like that. If I could write down the number of reasons I have been dumped on...If I were that awful, I won't have such great friends, family and people around me that cares. I guess at the end that is what counts. Change has to come from within. If I were a lonely looser without any friends at all, it will be a good idea to look for help and do a 360 change all over. If I wanted to. But it's not my case. I'm sorry I disappointed my friend. I love him so much! even if his idea of me changed. I still will be there for him. Always.